Dear Ate Charing: Letters from Readers (The Election Fever Edition)
Hello fellow patriots!
Medyo matagal-tagal na rin since the last time na nabuksan ang fan mail ni Ate Charing sa Barrio Post Office. Eh kasi naman busy na yung mga nagbabantay sa Barrio Hall sa pangangampanya ng kani-kanilang presidentiables kaya napabayaan na ang pagbubukas ng fan mail. Hello?
Nananawagan ako sa mga tanod at tanodress ng barrio, where art thou? Sandamakmak na ang mga unread mails?
Anyway, sa mga hindi pa nakakaalam, nagbibigay din po ng payo at solusyon sa inyong mga problema si Ate Charing. Mga problemang hindi niyo masolusyunan or nahihirapan kayong i-share ito. Dito sa barrio, may solusyon kami sa inyong mga problema. ETO at ETO ang iilan sa mga problemang nabigyan ng solusyon dito sa Barrio.
At dahil ako ang bantay kanina sa lobby at wala naman akong magawa maliban sa pagpapakyut, napagdiskitahan kong pakialaman ang mail ni Ate Charing para sagutin ang iilang problema ng ating mga readers at nang mabigyan ko rin sila ng payo. Mga payo para sa mga concerns at problemang may kinalaman sa eleksyon. ‘Di ba bongga?
Ate Charing presents “Letters from Readers: The Election Fever Edition”
As usual, all letters are condensed for fit and clarity. Charot. Simulan na natin.
Dear Ate Charing,
Hi and kamusta. Ako po si Carmen, 18 years old at first time voter this coming elections. Fan po ako ni Kris Aquino kaya ang iboboto ko po sa darating na May 10 is Noynoy. The problem is, my entire family doesn’t like him and they’re all rooting for Manny Villar. One time last January, habang nasa dining table kaming buong pamilya at nag-uusap ng aming choices for presidency at sinabi kong si Noynoy ang aking iboboto, muntik nang mabasag ang aming lamesang gawa sa salamin dahil sa lakas ng bagsak ng kamao ng aking ama nang malaman niyang hindi ako Pro-Villar tulad nila. Hanggang ngayon ay galit pa rin si Papa sa akin at hindi niya ako kinakausap. Ano po ang gagawin ko? Ayoko pong magkalamat ang aming relationship dahil lamang sa pulitika.
Gumagalang,
Carmen
Dear Carmen,
I feel for you but you don’t have to worry. Hindi ka nag-iisa sa iyong posisyon. Kahit ako nung nagtapat ako na si Jamby ang aking iboboto ay muntikan na akong lunurin ng aking ama sa ilog Pasig pero hindi niya magawa kasi nakalimutan niya yatang isa akong sirena kaya hindi ako nalulunod. Ang maigi mong gawin is this. Papalitan mo ang inyong dining table ng lamesang gawa sa narra or kamagong. Kasi matibay ang mga kahoy na ito at hindi basta-basta nasisira. Delikado kasi ang dining table made of glass. Very fragile ito and delikado kapag nabasag lalo na kung hindi ito gawa sa pyrex. Mahal pa naman ito ‘di ba? I also suggest na instead of using plates and utensils, gumamit kayo ng dahon ng saging in replacement of the plates at kumain lang kayo ng naka-kamay. Kunwari earth-friendly ang drama mo pero ang totoo iniiwasan mo lang na baka batuhin ka ng plato o kubyertos ng tatay mo sa sobrang inis niya sa iyo. Sana nakatulong ako sa problema mo.
Hindi ko rin feel ang mag-swimming sa basura,
Ate Charing
Dear Ate Charing,
Mabuhay ka at ang buong barrio. My name is Dominic, 32 years old and member of the campaign team for presidentiable Noynoy Aquino. I wrote because of my friend Jim whose also with me in the campaign for Noynoy for President. The problem is that I accidentally opened his email when I borrowed his laptop because I don’t have a laptop but I have a desktop computer at home. I read in one of those emails that he’s actually a spy of another presidentiable and he’s receiving a big sum of money in exchange of giving out insider information. Jim is my friend since kindergarten. I don’t want to ruin our friendship but I also believe that what he’s doing is not good. Please help.
Respectfully,
Dominic
Dear Dominic,
OMG, what a revelation! Maybe it’s fate that you ‘accidentally’ opened his email and the truth about your friend is revealed. Now it’s your turn to do the right thing. Meaning, it’s time for you to buy a laptop para hindi ka na naghihiram ng pc ng ibang tao. Hassle kaya yun noh? Borrowing a laptop is the same thing as borrowing a toothbrush nowadays. ‘Di ba? Tingnan mo ang nangyari, na-invade mo tuloy ang privacy ng friend mo. Juice ko ha, marami nang murang laptop ngayon na binibenta. Kahit sa talipapa ng barrio makakabili ka ng bonggang-bonggang laptop for less than P20,000. I’m sure kayang-kaya mo na yan bilhin. Yung yaya nga ni Eklat eh Mac ang pc noh, ikaw pa kaya na mukhang white collar ang profession. Sige na, go na sa nearest computer store. Icheck mo rin ang mga online stores, mas mura ng more than 20% compared sa mga tinda sa malls.
Hindi fake ang OS tulad ng iba diyan,
Ate Charing
Dear Ate Charing,
How are you? I’m Gino, 41 years old, married with 2 children. The election is very near and I’m voting for Mr. Dick Gordon for president. Unfortunately, my wife and I don’t agree with that. She’s voting for Bro. Eddie Villanueva because her family are loyal members of Jesus is Lord movement. This shouldn’t have been a problem but since her parents are campaigning actively for Bro. Eddie, madalas na rin siyang sumama dito at napapabayaan na niya ang mga gawaing bahay at responsibility bilang ina at asawa. I don’t want this election to destroy our family. I badly need your advice.
Truly yours,
Gino
Dear Gino,
I’m so sorry to hear that. Motherhood is the most important and most difficult job in the world. It should be regarded first rather than doing something else like what your wife is doing. Campaigning for Bro. Eddie is also a very difficult job considering the fact that it involves a lot of work. My advice to you is this. Make sure your wife takes a lot of vitamins so that during the day, she’ll feel energized lalo na kapag nagsasalita on stage or sumisigaw sa kampanya. Also, since your wife is exposed to the sun everyday, tell her to wear sunblock preferably SPF 100 an hour before going out in the sun because ultraviolet rays are dangerous to the skin. Dapat may bitbit din siya palaging tubig para hindi siya ma-heat stroke. Uso pa naman yan ngayong summer. Mahirap kapag nagkasakit ang wife mo, kawawa naman ang mga bata. I really hope I helped you save your family.
Wearing sunblock 24/7,
Ate Charing
Dear Ate Charing,
Hi, my name is Hannah, 21 years old and a daughter of a prominent governor here in the South. I wrote because I’m concerned with my dad, the governor. I know my father is a corrupt government official. He’s been milking our province for 6 years already and this election is going to be his last term. I’m concerned because I saw all these corrupt practices but I had to keep my mouth shut because I’m afraid of him and after all, he’s my father. Yesterday, he gathered the mayors of our province and handed out white envelopes. I overheard that inside the white envelope is a big sum of money to be used for vote-buying. Please help. I don’t know what to do.
Terribly worried,
Hannah
Dear Hannah,
I admire your honesty and I wish many like you would come out in the open. Yun bang nakikita nila ang katarantaduhan na ginagawa ng mga opisyal ng gobyerno at nagpapaka-bulag at bingi lang sa mga pangyayari. Anyway, ang ma-ipapayo ko lang sa’yo ay ito. Tell your father not to use white envelopes when handing out money. First of all, masyadong obvious ang white envelopes, nakikita pa ang laman nito. Baka mag-away yung mga mayor sa lugar ninyo pag nalaman nilang mas malaki ang binigay ng papa mo kumpara dun sa iba. You don’t want them to fight ‘di ba, chaos yun. I-suggest mo sa kanya na kung pwede do the handing out of money ‘online’. Do you know what I mean? Deposit the money to their respective bank accounts. That way, protected ng privacy at bank secrey law ang pera na binigay ng corrupt mong ama, at the same time you can have proper documentation pa since you’ll receive an automated and validated copy of the said deposit. Mas safe kung ganun. Masyado nang old-school ang pagbibigay ng pera by handing it out in the open tapos magpapapirma ka pa sa isang ledger. Nasa 2010 na tayo, let’s do it the techie way. Okay?
Still waiting for the deposit,
Ate Charing
Hay naku! Napagod na ako sa pagbibigay ng payo. Hanggang sa susunod na set of letters na ulet at ginutom ako. Sana natulungan natin ang ating mga letter senders noh? Ikaw din kung may problema ka at nahihirapan itong mabigyan ng solusyon, feel free to write it and send it to Ate Charing via Barrio Siete. Okay?
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Mel is is the ‘gurl’ behind “The Misadventures of Mel Beckham”. ‘She’ graduated with a double major in Management and Entrepreneurship. ‘She’ grew up in the city but now lives in the bukid near barrio siete juggling work as a farm manager, office secretary, messenger, construction worker, housemaid, make-up artist and babysitter. Despite ‘her’ busy schedule, ‘she’ finds the time to blog in between work, and errands using ‘her’ primitive mobile phone. ‘She’ plans to take ‘her’ MBA soon but ‘her’ multiple jobs prevent ‘her’ from doing so unless going to school will get ‘her’ paid to pay for ‘her’ utangs.
Before ‘she’ dies, ‘she’ hopes of owning a pair of Louboutins, and landing on the cover of Vogue, kahit sa Vogue India lang. Whichever comes first.
as always, funny, witty and full of wisdom.
my love for Gibo is fading. pls advise!!! HAHAHAH…i don’t know pero parang feel na feel ko kase these days ang mga PIKON!!! HAHAHAHHA
hahaha!
Una, buy a narra tree para gawing narra table!
THEN, tie a yellow ribbon on an old narra tree!
GANUN lang hahahahhaha!!!