Sa mga umaabang sa next appearance ni Eklat, lalo na sa kanyang anim na fans, eto ulet ang isang sulat mula sa kanya.

Basa na mga bruha.

photo credit: The CW

Hello patriots!

Yes it’s me again, Eklat at your service.

You know I just arrived from a week of rehab, I mean, vacation in LA and the news that Yaya Indira has for me when I arrived was this controversial video of presidentiable Noynoy Aquino. Of course I have not seen the video before because tv and internet is forbidden in the ‘vacation home’. Yaya showed it to me this morning and here are my thoughts.

First of all, I think the video is crafted beautifully. From a film student’s point of view, I’ll give it a 9.5. The lighting and choreography is pretty it reminded me of a scene in New Moon. The location is enigmatic, and the actors are fabulous. Yes, I was a film student for three weeks at the London Film School where I rub shoulders with the children of famous Hollywood directors. I won’t name names though because I don’t want to be associated with them. Their fathers lost at the Oscars. Hahaha!

Anyway, back to Noynoy’s video. The torches used were very exquisite. Parang they came from the same rattan and bamboo that Kenneth Cobonpue used in his furnitures. So chic talaga.

The costumes, well, Rhett Eala for Collezione shirts is a fashion must-have. I think every Filipino should have that shirt and be proud of how gorgeous looking your country is when embroidered. The actors’ clothes were also simple yet stylish. Did they have a stylist on set because I’d like to hire him/her for my next photo shoot.

About the music, Yaya Indira told me the singer is Regine Velasquez. I think with the way she performed the song, it reminded me of Enya, except that Regine prefers to ‘shout’ rather than ‘haunt’. Although she looks very haunting in the video noh? She needs a lot of products for her hair, it looks very ‘patay’. Hahaha!

Meanwhile, the presence of actors in the video is overwhelming. Yaya Indira identified each and every one of them for me because as you all know, I’m not that knowledgeable about local artistas. It elevated the video to a different level in terms of star power. Kris Aquino stood out in black while Anne Curtis, Bea Alonzo and Marian Rivera looked very gorgeous in their ensembles. I think this is the first time in history where a lot of actors from both rival networks were shown in one fabulous appearance. And to top it all, they didn’t get paid.

Speaking of getting paid, what’s this chika I heard from the grapevine about people with laptops getting paid by some presidentiables to discredit Noynoy Aquino? Well, I think this is getting exciting. I wish they contacted me too because I know a few PR people that is less expensive but does a better job for their bosses. They do better wonders than Moses.

That image of a bloodied yellow ribbon is foul and so not chic.I mean, it could’ve used a better shade of red noh because the one they used to make mantsa the yellow ribbon is a malabnaw red. Like anaemic red. Perhaps they could’ve used the color chart of Revlon for a better choice of red.

No seriously, I think it’s too much of a negative propaganda but it could also be an eye opener for the concerned and I think he needs to address it now.

On the other hand, getting paid by politicians to lambast his/her rival is nothing new to me. As you all know, my mother is a congresswoman and we used to hire PR people for a better image for my mother. With my father’s gambling problem, my drug and alcohol issues, and my brother’s mental illness, she really needed these people to project a wholesome image of her and our family. Of course discrediting her enemies is part of the package. Have you heard of that congressman from the south who was investigated for child abuse and gambling problem and eventually lost the elections? Well, that was the job of my mother’s PR people. Don’t you think they are brilliant? I think they can rule the country with just a click of their dirty unmanicured fingers and a few words from their filthy mouths.

Fortunately, it’s all in the past and my mother has changed.

Anyway, back to the topic. The video of Noynoy Aquino is not that extraordinary actually. It’s just that it was done beautifully by a group of talented volunteers to the extent that it was too emotionally convincing and a lot of people love it. Those who did not like it just reacted normally and I clearly understand. Others are critical for the content and the message it portrays, some even comparing it to the Nazi way. Some are not happy with the overwhelming showbiz personalities. And others think it just doesn’t deliver. Meanwhile a few are just paid to hate it. Hahaha!

Hopefully, Noynoy Aquino’s platform is way much better than the video.

On the other hand, Yaya Indira also showed me the videos of other presidentiables and let me tell you, they need help. A lot of help. It is so funny I almost threw my Chanel 2.55 over the barista at Coffee Bean.

Okay, let’s tackle it one by one.

Manny Villar’s ad has a very catchy song. It reminded me of how Boom Tarat saved Migs Zubiri’s ass last senatorial elections. The problem is that the video is showing a lot of poor and unfortunate looking people. Poor people don’t always look like that in reality. They don’t wear basahan all the time. Poor people once again is being stereotyped as those who wear tagpi-tagpi clothes and looking like they haven’t been in the shower for seven days. Poor people wear retail too you know. There are people from the looban who can rival the looks of Eurpoean supermodels. And what’s with the hugging? It’s so lame and so early 90’s campaign. Like my Yaya said, “plastic is not good for the environment”.

I think Manny Villar’s people should consider something else. I’ve seen his daughter Camille Villar in person and I think she’s a beautiful classy woman. Why not let her appear in one of her Dad’s ad on tv? I’m sure she’ll do wonders considering how successful she is in her career. She can do a little talk about how great her father is, perhaps the people might forget C5. Hahaha!

Chiz Escudero also appeared on the telly. Will he run for president? I’m not sure but one thing’s for sure, his tv ad is a perfect example of a cheesy low budget video. You see, if you don’t have a budget considering you already don’t have the support of someone like Danding Cojuangco, why not hire up and coming writers and directors who have a lower talent fee but equally talented minds. Remember that McDonalds Karen/Gina and that Biolink VCO shampoo commercials? Low budget commercials with less popular and less showbiz-looking personalities but highly effective in delivering the message. Perhaps Chiz can do what he does best. Talk in Tagalog. You know how perfect sounding he is when he talks in Tagalog? Very engaging that even when he talks nonsense, it still sounds good. Hahaha!

And what about that ad of Gibo Teodoro called Galing at Talino? Nice tagline, congratulations. Very “Erap para sa mahirap” but with fewer characters and a nicer font.

First of all, if you don’t look good face on, don’t take time facing the camera like what Gibo did in his ad. He should’ve done a profile shot because he looks better in profile. Second, it’s kilay-raising and so negative when he makes parinig other presidentiables. He sound very bitter because the other one is much loved even with receding hairline compared to him and how he was despised ny people especially during Ondoy and Pepeng. Hahaha!

Haynaku, I don’t have much time because I have to go. I have to see my shrink.

Til next time Barrio folks.

XOXO,
Eklat

Ayan, nasabi na ni Eklat ang gusto niyang sabihin. Sa mga may negative comments, hintayin na lang natin ang mga sagot niya. Hindi ako ang sasagot for her noh, baka ako pa ang awayin. Hahaha! Sabi nga ng lola ko, Serena Van Der Woodsen is no match for an old hag with scholastic records. Hahaha! Charing!

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Mel is is the ‘gurl’ behind “The Misadventures of Mel Beckham”. ‘She’ graduated from Brokenshire College with a double major in Management and Entrepreneurship. ‘She’ grew up in the city but now lives in the bukid near barrio siete juggling work as a farm manager, office secretary, messenger, construction worker, housemaid, make-up artist and babysitter. Despite ‘her’ busy schedule, ‘she’ finds the time to blog in between work, and errands using ‘her’ primitive mobile phone. ‘She’ plans to take ‘her’ MBA soon but ‘her’ multiple jobs prevent ‘her’ from doing so unless going to school will get ‘her’ paid to pay for ‘her’ utangs. Before ‘she’ dies, ‘she’ hopes of owning a pair of Louboutins, and landing on the cover of Vogue, kahit sa Vogue India lang. Whichever comes first.