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Eklat Strikes Back

8 October 2009 34 Comments

Mga kapatid, eto at may natanggap na naman tayong sulat dito sa Barrio Siete from our dear friend Eklat. Naging busy pala ang lola niyo sa kawanggawa kaya natagalan bago siya nakasulat sa atin. Sa mga hindi pa familiar kay Eklat, you can read her first two letters here and here.

Here is Eklat’s third letter to us.

Read on.

photo credit: The CW

photo credit: The CW

Hello my dear minions.

First of all, I’d like to apologise for not making paramdam these past few months.

I’ve been busy with my life. You know naman, sushal people like us has a very busy lifetime and we are on-call 24/7. Parang I feel like a convenience store na tuloy. (insert annoying Kris Aquino laugh here)
The past week here in the country was very rough noh? Like, OMFG, I’ve never experienced so much baha in my young and beautiful life. The rain was so hard I feel like I was in a Marilyn Manson concert. Within a few hours the water level rose to extraordinary heights. Baha much? Marikina was flooded. Rizal was flooded. Water was here, there and everywhere!

The water here in Porks Park was very high I thought I was gonna drown. Gosh, it was ankle-deep for chrissakes! Nakakalokah! Buti na lang I was quick to change my flat shoes into my 6-inch Rodarte platforms and climbed up to the 14th floor of my parent’s mansion.

I was overlooking our neighbours from the terrace and saw how devastating it was talaga. I immediately called the attention of my mother, the congresswoman, and she was able to send our 8 yachts to rescue our poor kapitbahays. Meanwhile, I also told my Yaya Indira to change into her surfing outfit so she can make langoy and dive and rescue our drenched neighbours kasi our yachts was still on its way pa.

I’m so glad I taught Yaya Indira to surf when we were in Hawaii last year. It totally paid off.

Anyway, I also heard that the brother of my social climbing actress friend Rufina rescued daw his leading lady from his soon to be released movie because she was in her bubong already. Well, according to the news, Ricardo used a speedboat daw to save her. Well, that’s total baloney. Yaya Indira was there at the scene noh. It wasn’t a speedboat as we heard. It was just a salbabida with a Kubota machine used by most mangingisda in Manila Bay. Tapos you make hila a lubid so you can andar the makina. Speedboat my Vicki Belo-enhanced ass. (insert annoying Kris Aquino laugh here)

You know, my mother, the congresswoman, immediately launched a rescue and relief operations for the victims of the flood. Yaya Indira and I were at the forefront of the relief operations. We made balot some goodie bags composed of bread, canned goods, noodles, biscuits and bottled water. I also placed juices and milk in tetra packs for little children.

As a bonus, I also donated much of my baby clothes from Dior and Chanel. It’s nice to see little kids in couture you know. Like Suri Cruise and Shiloh Jolie-Pitt, these kids should start wearing couture when they’re still young.

My brother (yes, I have a brother and he is not a pig) also went to supermarkets to but stuff to be given away to the poor victims if the baha. Kuya Boknoy (real name: Bienvenido Oliver Karlo Nonito Ysmael) dropped by Save Me and More Supermarket to buy additional canned goods and bottled water. Lo and behold who he bumped into at the wine section of the store carrying 18 bottles of brandy, rhum ,whiskey and lambanog. None other than the very controversial congressman Mikey Mouse Arrojo. You’re probably wondering how he hand-carried the 18 bottles, well, I myself could not believe it but that’s how lassengo. I mean, maabilidad he is. He was able to make his P50,000 into a whopping P90 million in just one year nga eh. (insert annoying Kris Aquino laugh here)

According to Kuya Boknoy, he asked Mikey Mouse about the alcoholic beverages and he told Kuya that he was on his way din pala at the relief operations in his hometown. He just dropped by to buy ‘a little’ pampainit for himself kasi nga it was a very cold weather. Now I understand.

One time we went to the Ultra-Mega-Giga Sportsdome where it was converted into an evacuation center to give donations. I noticed this very strong stench from all over. Yun pala there were no bathrooms! My gosh! The situation is so bad. People are getting sick because they have no decent place to make wish-wish and poo-poo. Whatever happened to the cash donations of the people? Are they hoarding it? What future use and rehabilitation are you talking about? Maybe they should buy portalets na lang with that money or construct temporary comfort rooms, powder rooms, changing rooms in the area. Proper waste disposal is very important. Haven’t they heard of e-coli, typhoid and dengue? Most importantly, they should construct tea rooms in the area. Tea rooms are very essential especially among young women like me.

My gosh, these people. We entrust them with our money so that it can help the victims as soon as possible and they let the money sleep in the bank! Pisting yawa! (Editor’s note: Nagiging bisaya pala si Eklat kapag nagmumura? Not very sushal. Hahaha!)

Anyway, after three days of relief operations and with just 10 hours of sleep per day, I was so dead tired. I had no manicure and pedicure. I had no facial. I had no diamond peel. I looked kadiri na talaga. Sobra. Meanwhile, Yaya Indira was worst than me. She looked very haggard after three days of making buhat 50 kilos of rice and other relief goods to bring at the evacuation centers. I mean, it wasn’t that much physical for her you know. She carries my luggage naman everytime we travel and I’m sure, my luggage and other maleta is more than 50 kilos. Each.

Well, I think I’ve done my part already in helping our kababayans. I have to be selfish again and have my Me-time back.

I need to detoxify myself somewhere where Ondoy and Pepeng can’t go.

I will bring Yaya Indira with me.

Until next time.

XOXO,

Eklat

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is is the ‘gurl’ behind “The Misadventures of Mel Beckham”. ‘She’ graduated with a double major in Management and Entrepreneurship. ‘She’ grew up in the city but now lives in the bukid near barrio siete juggling work as a farm manager, office secretary, messenger, construction worker, housemaid, make-up artist and babysitter. Despite ‘her’ busy schedule, ‘she’ finds the time to blog in between work, and errands using ‘her’ primitive mobile phone. ‘She’ plans to take ‘her’ MBA soon but ‘her’ multiple jobs prevent ‘her’ from doing so unless going to school will get ‘her’ paid to pay for ‘her’ utangs. Before ‘she’ dies, ‘she’ hopes of owning a pair of Louboutins, and landing on the cover of Vogue, kahit sa Vogue India lang. Whichever comes first.

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