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Learn the basics: Social Climbing 101

23 August 2009 28 Comments

This entry was originally posted sa reyna elena. Kaso dahil me mga bagong salta na di maintindihan ang meaning nang social climbing, I felt na I have a duty to the kawntri and da nation to make an explanation. Kaya kung nabasa ninyo yung litanya ni HollyShit sa comments section, hindi naintindihan nung gurl ang meaning nang “social climbing” sa Barrio Siete. Actually, wala akong interes mag-explain sa doctorate. Dapat alam nya na yun. Pero, dahil mabait ako, here’s a refresher course on Basic Social Climbing applicable to all sexes and neutered brought to you by PRE, Pamantansan nang Reyna Elena. Magbasa para matuto. Walang explanation, instead eto ang Social Climbing powerpoint application.

picture-076

You know, even though I really, really wanted to go home sa Manila for good, masaya naman kami actually dito sa Philly. We party all the time, get drunk (sila, di ako), get wasted (sila, di ako), get molested (sila, di ako) and arrest some cops (sila, di ako).

Learn some more social climbing skills!!!

Dahil nga mahilig kaming humada we are very friendly, there was this rule that I learned sa bars, which has now become part of my social climbing skills. Accordingly, pag me nakatingin daw sayo taz lumagpas nang 1 minute, ibig sabihin, interested ever sayo ang nakatingin – so, you gotta catch that moment and say something – fast! At ang sabi pa, “to smile” is to say something, na pede mong gamitin kung nabilaukan ka to come up with a word. Ayan, pedeng man-hunting skills po yan at pede ring gurl-hunting skills. Getz nyo?

Ok, nailista ba tong bagong social climbing tips naten? Write it down and don’t forget to remember.

Social climbing application

Well, I was driving home from work one day. Trapik. Stop kotse ko. Stop kotse nang mama. Napalingon ako. At muli pang napalingon uli ako. Gwapo!!! Kumurap-kurap ang kilay ko. But I noticed, nakatingin sya. Biglang na-alala ko ang rule!

*TOINK*!!! I was told na pag me nakatingin daw seyo nang lagpas siksti sekon, me interes sayo, kaya you have to say something at ang pag-smile is equivalent to saying “something”.

So, nagbilang ako, wan-tansan wan, wan-tansan-tu, hangang limang tansan ang nabilang ko, so me interes sya based dun sa kwagong rule di ba? So, may I smile ang lola. Smile den sya. Weeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!! Hindi na interes toooo! Boyfriend syaaaa!!!!

 

Green light

 

Sinundan ko sya ngayon.

 

Napansin ko medyo nag slowdown din sya.

 

Tinabihan nya ako.

 

Smile pa den sya! Whoah!

 

Nanga-ngatog na po ang tuhod ko!

 

In my mind, picket fences na toooo! And my imaginations were running wild. Gusto ko, sa Las Vegas ang kasal. Private affair lang. Just like the superstars.

 

Pumasok sya sa magarang development.

 

Sinundan ko.

 

Napansin ko, nag-stop sya.

 

Stop ako. You have no idea! Alam nyo nyong kabog nang kabog ang puso nyo!

 

Grabeeee! Wish ko dalwa lang anak namen. Mahal mag-pa-aral eh.

 

Nasa baba na sya nang kotse inaabangan ako. Inayos ko ang buhok ko. Ang ganda ko talagaaaa!!!

 

Di pa ko nakakababa, lumapet na sya. Binaba ko na lang window ko.

 

Where’s your driver’s license? And why have you been following me?

 

Pulis pala sya!!! [shocked!]

mamangpulisnagwapo.JPG

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