Kanya kanya tayong drama eklavu just to find work. I was sooo pissed ki Doreen sa dati kong work sa Barrio Siete ko in Philadelphia! Nilayasan ko. Dumaan ako sa bintana. Magdusa sila, nawalan sila nang cute na sirena. 8 months later, leche! Ako pala ang nag-dusa! Hmpt! So, I was flying from Boston to Atlanta to Chicago for job interviews. Pwera pa ang driving Miss Daisy to Washington DC, Delaware, Philadelphia and New York. Lecheng krisis! Ayuff! Ba’t ba ako nag-resign?! Ba’t wala kahit isa senyong pumigil saken?! Leche oo! Finally, I was accepted in Chicago. Ang mga demonyo! I was fired even before I started. Binawi nang mga impakto ang trabaho! Grrr!

Ako po si Reynz, ang Kapitana del Barrio Siete, at eto po ang kwento how I ended up here sa 10 feet below sea level na shoedad. No worries, natutulog akong me salbabida. Oras na umulan, hinihipan ko na sya. I’ve lived in Philadelphia for a very, very long time, I am sooo antiquated kulang na lang na isalpak ako sa Museum. So, let me share my travelogue avec you all mon amis. Especially to those in the Middle East and China who have no access to reyna elena. Namnamin ang hirap na ginawa nang lola, mag-ka-trabaho la’ang.

1.) Pennsylvania

Tuesday, Feb 17 when I left Philly. Malungkot mag-byahe alone. That I’m sure you know. But alam nyo, kinagat ko nga ang opportunity na to nang ura-urada dala nang lecheng unemployment at recession. You’ve seen much of Philadelphia in my blog. Here’s another shot of the city. Medyo emote ang lola. Remember, this was my Barrio Siete for more than 20 years.

I waited for my niece to leave school when I left. I know I’ll miss her. I already miss my dog, too. Para syang bata. It was funny when I was packing up my stuff and putting them in my car; he was crying and was running around, continually following me. Here he was in my bed sporting a brand-new hair cut.

2.) Delaware

Mixed emotions ang lola. Excited. Takot. New life. New friends. New everything. In Cajun City. The land of Mardi Gras. But uneasy ako while I was driving. Alam mo yon? Yon bang tipong you forgot to wear pantalon until nasa pluto ka na saka mo lang na-realize nakakahiya pala ang palda sa highway? Leche! Layo gyud kaayo ang dini-tour nako because it was closer to get to Virginia Beach via the Chesapeake Bay Bridge Tunnel. Daan kina Kuya Johnnny to load the map unto my navigator. Here’s Delaware:

3.) Maryland

Where is Pokemoke City? Ewan, siguro Maryland. Yong peninsula kasi na to nang Delaware belongs to Delaware, sa gitna ang Maryland and sa dulo ang Virgnia where the entrance to the bridge is.

4.) Virginia

Chesapeake Bay Bridge Tunnel

Chesapeake Bay Bridge Tunnel is 37-km long fixed link that connects the Delmarva Peninsula (Delaware, Maryland, Virginia) with southeastern Virginia in the United States. Dito mo mababasa ang history niya. At eto na sya:

37 kilometers! Uber! Eh yong layo nang Barrio Siete to Sorsogon is only 25 kilometers! Nakaka-lula! If you see sa dulo nang picture yong pababa, flat and long and straight and winding ang bridge na to and sum’wer sum’wer ober-der is the 1st tunnel. Dalawa kasi yan and there is a man-made island in the middle.

My brother in law was telling me na one time they drove to Virginia Beach at inabot sila nang bagyo in the middle of the bridge. Yeap, ulan plus salpok nang alon ang tatama seyo. Samahan mo pa nang fog. That’s why they close this bridge during stormy days. Here’s how it looks like:

If you noticed, there’s another bridge sa kabila. Here’s the entrance to the 1st tunnel and I missed the exit dun sa Visitor’s Center. If you noticed, there’s a cargo ship passing by. The tunnel is a narrow two-lane highway kaya nag-sisigaw ako pag nakasulubong ko mga 6-wheeler na kala mo mga eroplano! Grrr!

Virginia Beach

I’ve never been to my Kuya Jonny’s place for more than 5 years na. Eto yong pinsan kong uber-bait to the max pati na yong wife nya. Roberto, one of his son, born and raised here, spent a year in UP Diliman, na-culture shock, ayaw nang umuwi sa Virginia although he’s back here now graduating this May. They said, 6 hours lang daw ang travel time, I don’t know, but it took me about 8 hours at pagod kamo ang lola. I was in Virginia Beach around 4pm (8am ako umalis nang Philly).

I ran into a lot of problems loading the map into my navigator kaya nakaalis ako nang Virginia around 9am, the following day, 7/18. I don’t know if there was a storm. But it was raining hard. Baka eto na yong napag-aralan ko in elementary about hanging balaklaot sum’tin sum’tin hehehe!

Virginia’s highway are in the mountains. Salpok nang hangin, plus the rains, leche! super emote ang lola! An lungkoootttt! Waaaa! Nerbyosity pa ako here at talaga kamong takot na takot ako! Fact is, parang gusto ko nang bumalik talaga!

5.) North Carolina

The highways and the turnpikes dito sa US are really nice. In the west coast, they’re called freeways. Sa Virginia, medyo masikip at bundok. But when I arrived North Carolina, the highways are so wide pati yong gilid are well manicured leche sino kaya ang gardener nila dito!

An lungkot lungkot nang panahon talaga. I was beginning to think na merong bagyo.

Patunay ki Malditang Pinay that I was in their neigborhood! Hahaha!

At 60 mph, cars were speeding at probably 90mph. In North Carolina, the speed limit is 70mph kaya leche! People here drives like they do in Boston! Kaya, they’re all making beam light signals and making potpot to lola as if saying to me na umalis ako sa kalye! Mga lecheng tao dito! Walang galang sa reyna! Hmpt! But really, North Carolina has the cleanest, the widest and one of the most beautiful superhighways I have ever seen or at least driven.

But you see, I drove to a number of newly constructed highways in North Carolina na wala sa navigator ko. Kaya tumatalon ang kaluluwa ko whenever I hear my navigator shout “Off-route! Recalculating!” Leche! Natataranta ako! Eh sinong mumurahin ko kundi ang programmer nang tarantadong navigator na to! Nagkawala-wala tuloy ako and I was frantically calling my brother-in-law in Philadelphia to guide me where in the world is Matt Lauer na ako. I must have spent a good hour lost in North Carolina! An takot ko noh! Nawala ata yong nakabitay between my legs sa takot ko! Leche talaga! Pinaglaruan ata ako nang maligno sa highways! Grr!

6.) South Carolina

Leaving North Carolina, akala ko tapos na ang storm because it started to clear up. But when I tuned in to one local radio station, it said about some wind gusts. I did not hear kung gano kalakas. Leche! I was praying na sana wala akong makasalubong na tornado!

Then, it started to rain na kala mo bumukas yong gripo nang langit. Its similar to a downpour in Manila, as in uber lakas talaga. I’ve driven in blizzard conditions na blinding snow. This is how it looked like in blinding rains na me konting fog.

I swear! Nangumpisal na ako na hindi ko na talaga aagawin si Brad Pitt ki Angelina Jolie! As luck would have it, at least I was the only car sa highway, otherwise, baka nabangga na ako because akala mo gabi na and I could not see anything ahead of me! Yong wind gusts is gusts talaga, pati underwear ko nililipad sa lakas! Pag-baba ko nang mountains, tingnan nyo naman ang bumulaga saken. Nag-clear up na sya at ang sabi, “smiling faces”! Lecheng South Carolina to! Pinaglalaruan ako! Hmpt!

I was honestly worn-out. Akala mo, I went to a horror movie sa takot ko. I swear, yong tuhod ko eh nanginginig sa takot. It was during that North Carolina to South Carolina drive na nag-sink in saken that I was alone. I mean, really alone and the exits here were just unbelievably far! Grabe! So, on the next exit, naghanap ako nang hotel where I could stay overnight. Akala ko, I can manage to drive this in 2 days. Mukhang aabutin ako nang 3 days. I found this place.

Gaffney, South Carolina

Para akong nasa Iloilo, they speak English na me tono. It’s very pleasing to my ears. I love accents. Talagang nasa South na ako.

I was surprised. Para syang Discovery Suites sa Ortigas, to think na parang motel lang to. Took a quick shower, run to Applebee’s for dinner.

Dinner was bad. An sama nang pagkain dito! Hahaha! Downed 2 beers instead and make tulog. Uber pagod at takot. I still cannot believe that I was doing this. I must be crazy talaga. Thanks God for my uber-reliable car.

Score card? 2 days, 2 nights on the road. Overnite in Virginia, overnite in South Carolina.

TO BE CONTINUED …

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reynz is one Uragon and a Filipino-American, has many years of public accounting & auditing, broadcast investments, housing tax credits and equity investments as his background. Based in the US, he maintains his personal and humor blog at reyna elena dot com. A graduate of Aquinas U, he went to GWU and Temple U in the United States.