President Benigno Aquino’s 1st State of the Nation Address (SONA) will be shocking, says one headline news. It reads: “Aquino says SONA will ‘shock’ Filipinos“. But if you read it, it’s all about how much was left by the Arroyo’s on the national coffers. That’s not shocking. That’s expected from these corrupt [insert bloody anything here]. What is shocking is that – you still see all of these KUPALS (thanks to Larry Leviste) prancing around – even in the halls of Congress. That’s what’s shocking.

Several weeks ago, out came the news. El Presidente needed 5,000 cute Filipinos to fill-up 5,000 juicy positions. Said he was having difficulty, for Pilipinas Got No Talent. I raised my right hand, point and clicked, that I’m size 36-24-36; 12. And I know I fit. It did not bounce, and so-therefore-may-I-conclude. I may not belong to the family but I can sing “We are family!” What’s shocking is that I did not hear from them. Boy, I had a fit!

Now, come SONA, please don’t shock me with plunging breasts err whatever you call it. You see, I prefer fashion without the fashion. So, if you are coming in bahag, please… just drop the bahag. I really like it that way. Aha, aha.

But while I support the President, I’m tired of listening how the Arroyo’s ransacked the national coffers. Really. As I have said, that’s really not shocking. They should be slammed to jail. Sell their stolen assets. Collect back the monies. Build a decent expressway. From Manila all the way to Matnog, Sorsogon. I’m sick and tired of this photo-op elevated highway, corruptly ending in Alabang. I don’t want alibis. I know its issues overload but El Presidente must offer solutions on how these are to be solved.

• You have sex education to bishops. They can’t understand sex.
• You have Gloria prancing around with Imelda. Gives a different meaning to corrupt-free Philippines.
• You have Justice Corona who refused to resign, now what?
• You have Merciditas Gutierrez who refused to resign, now what?
• You have the Angat Dam na naka-angat na.
• You have the bloody Comelec blessing Mikey Arroyo raping the partylist system na it’s ok. Go rape some more!
• You have a Supreme Court Justice plagiarizing his decisions. Said, si Manny Pangilinan nga?!
• You have officials from the notorious Hello Garci who were promoted.
• You have the no new taxes promise but will soon impose a 12 percent value-added tax on tollway operations.
• You have the budget deficit wherein the promise was that the gap will be filled-in by tax collection, yet there are now plans to make more foreign loans.
• You still have to make an official statement on what to do with businesses issuing provisional receipts.
• You have cops suffering from hamburger overfeeding to the tune of P21 million.
• You have the Abad Family who might as well create their own Republic of Batanes and leave us alone.

But on the 1st State of the Nation Address, what I want to hear is for the President to speak and not su hermana que este viajando en America. And so, I wish for stars alignment. No, no. I’m not asking fast forward to 2012, not yet – I’m still enjoying delicious banana-q. What I want is more like cloud seeding, to stop any thunder that might come from America’s atmosphere.

And like everyone else, I can’t wait for the 1st SONA. I will watch, I will listen and will prepare to be shocked. This could be the day that he will reveal the real story behind the break-up of Kris Aquino and James Yap.

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reynz is one Uragon and a Filipino-American, has many years of public accounting & auditing, broadcast investments, housing tax credits and equity investments as his background. Based in the US, he maintains his personal and humor blog at reyna elena dot com. A graduate of Aquinas U, he went to GWU and Temple U in the United States.