Cartoon Courtesy of PCIJ

I will never forget Ninoy Aquino’s memorable anecdote about Ferdinand Marcos’ visit to the National Center for Mental Health during his dictatorship. He delivered this witty and funny story in front of hundreds of people in Los Angeles during a convention while He and Cory was still in Boston in exile. He said and let me re-tell it in my own words in Tagalog:

“Kinontak ng malacanang ang direktor ng Mental Hospital para ipaalam na dadalaw si Marcos at Imelda dun upang tingnan ang kalagayan ng mga baliw. Agad agad tinipon ng Direktor ang mga doktor, staff at nurses ng ospital para ipunin ang mga pasyente sa isang lugar for orientation. Nang nandun na sa auditorium ang mga baliw, ang sabi ng direktor sa mikropono…

“O pag itinaas ko ang isang daliri, lahat kayo magpapalakpakan. Pag itinaas ko ang dalawang daliri lahat kayo magpapalakpakan at magsisigawan. Pag itinaas ko ang tatlong daliri, lahat kayo ay magpapalakpakan, magsisigawan at Magtatalunan. Umoo ang mga baliw at ginawa nga ito.

Dumating si Marcos at Imelda, itinaas ng Direktor ang isang daliri at nagpalakpakan ang mga baliw. Itinaas ng direktor ang dalawang daliri at nagpalakpakan at nagsigawan ang mga baliw. Itinaas ng direktor ang tatlong daliri at nagpalakpakan, nagsigawan at nagtalunan ang mga baliw”.

Sa ganyong eksena, lampas tenga ang ngiti ni Marcos at Imelda. hanggang may napansin sila na isang Pasyente na walang kibo. Nakaupo lamang sa isang tabi at hindi pumapalakpak, sumisigaw o tumatalon”.

Tinawag ni Marcos ang Direktor. Psst, halika, bakit yung isang pasyente nyo di nakikisali? ang sabi ng direktor, ‘Ahhhhhh yan po ba? Magaling na po yan, bukas po lalabas na yan!”

That’s why those who cheered and howled during Arroyo’s SONA are undoubtedly Psychopathic patients- delusional and gullible. The jeering psychopathic mobs in Terno’s and Barongs are all crazy as much as their crazy leader themeselves. Like what the popular saying says with a twist, “Crackpots of the same order, howl together”

As the days progressd after Arroyo’s 9th and final blabber, Journalists, Columnists, Bloggers, Common Tao and the Catholic Church continued to bombard the most hated woman of all since Imelda’s downfall and make remarks on her untruthful SONA.

The Barrio Council have seen and read so many reactions against the SONA, so many that we believe that we are not alone in our observation that Gloria’s Last and Final Chance to redeem herself, at least by telling the truth, has been wasted and therefore marred by the vicious lies of the devil. The “Devil wears Fuchsia” so to speak.

We read some of the most witty and hard-hitting commentary and news about the President’s SONA and we would like to share it with you to read them, of course plus the “humor factor” minus the insanity. Because we find it very informative and satirical, and lauhing our butts off, that we decided to gather them in one post, for your own satisfaction. After all, mockery is the greatest revenge in time of impunity. Here are some of those:

‘PSYCHOPATHETIC’

“State of the mind“

Theres The Rub By Conrado de Quiros
Philippine Daily Inquirer
First Posted 01:14:00 07/28/2009

I seriously propose that the state of the Nation Address be delivered not in July, as tradition dictates, but on April 1, as sanity dictates. April 1 is April Fool’s Day, when the claims of Filipino presidents, including those who were not elected so, about what they’ve done for the country are best said. Who knows? Maybe the day devoted to foolishness may persuade people to be wise.

Who knows too? Maybe the day devoted to deception might have persuaded President Gloria Macapagal-Arroyo Monday to tell the truth. And deliver this speech:

GOOD AFTERNOON, sycophants and booty-lickers. I do not see any ladies here and the only gentleman I know is at home packing his bags in hopes he might still be invited to where I am going. I will not bore you, even if that gives me great pleasure, with a long speech full of statistics which you would be fools to believe anyway. I’ll go straight to the point.

Juan Ponce Enrile is right: I am the best president this country has ever had. Of course, he said that too about Marcos and Erap, but he is right this time. No Filipino president has done more than me. No Filipino president will do more than me.

For once and for all, I have disabused this country of its illusions. Chief of them is that we are a democracy. There has been no more persistent, and pernicious, illusion than that. The Filipinos who extol its virtues are hypocrites. They do not believe in it any more than I do. They do not care for it any more than I do.

Ferdinand Marcos has accomplished much in disabusing us of the illusion too, but he has fallen short of heroic. At the very least, he was elected twice before he decided that eight years was not enough. I have not been so once and have already done nine years. Marcos cheated massively too, but he did not make stealing the vote truly decide the outcome of elections. I have. By winning elections fairly believably before martial law, Marcos gave the poor and ignorant to imagine they may actually have a say on who should rule them. I have corrected that. The only one who should rule them is the one who knows best. God knows best, and God put me here.

The institutions of democracy have never worked, and will never work. Long before I came, they were already in the process of dissolution. The ease with which I bought their representatives is proof of it. I have merely hastened that process. I have merely brought things to their logical end.

I did not invent buying congressmen, I merely improved on it. The congressmen were corrupt long before I came in. You can take the word of their previous speaker, Ramon Mitra for it: They will sign anything, including toilet paper. Mitra was kind to draw the line at toilet paper. And you can take the example of their subsequent speaker, Jose de Venecia, for it: He will say anything, including all the good things he said about me when they tried to impeach me. And all the bad things he said about me when they impeached him—or booted him out as speaker. But don’t take my word for it, just read my favorite columnist in the Inquirer.

I did not invent buying bishops, I merely paid them more. I am not the only one who likes to break vows. The bishops were breaking theirs long before me, specifically their vows of humility and poverty. The last thing they are is humble, and the last thing they want to be is poor. In fact, they were in the business long before me, threatening dying landowners with hellfire if they did not part with their lands. I merely threaten the Cojuangcos with land reform. Give unto Caesar’s what is Caesar’s and to God what is God’s, and they imagine themselves to be both. Why should I think differently?

I did not invent buying the courts; the judges were for sale long before me, some of them toting price tags on their backs. Of course during my time, the law went on to punish the innocent and reward the guilty. Why should it be otherwise? Why should we delude the poor and weak that they can have justice on earth? That’s what heaven is for. Earth is where the strong survive and the weak perish. Indeed, why should we allow “probinsyanong Intsiks” to remain free, let alone to be heard? They’ve already committed two crimes by existing, being Intsik and being probinsyano.

I did not invent corruption, I merely perfected it. Anyway corruption is corruption only when you’re caught. It was there long before me. It was there during Marcos’ time, it was there during Cory’s time, it was there during Ramos’ time, it was there during Erap’s time. And Ramos thinks himself an elder statesman! He is merely old and overstated. Erap was caught; therefore, only Erap is corrupt.

I did not invent lying in office, Marcos did it before me. But he was much too coy, he liked to cover his tracks. I do it openly. At least I am honest about being dishonest.

I did invent stealing the vote. But that too is theft only if you are caught. Or since I was, if they can do something about it. I did invent stealing souls, turning people from mavericks to jokers, from human beings to pichay. I did invent stealing lives, Jonas Burgos’ among them, but who cares, Burgos was just the son of someone who helped restore democracy to this country, and democracy has been a bane to us.

And of course I did invent a new reason for quarantine.

I can always say, “I…am…sorry” for these, but you will not believe it anyway. And I am not sorry for them, I am proud of them. If I am sorry at all, it is that I cannot live forever, though I am hard at work trying to remedy that by finalizing a deal with You-Know-Who. I do not mean Obama, though he looks roasted.

Meanwhile I’ll just content myself with being sorry enough to punish myself—as I did the last time I said, “I…am…sorry…”—by sticking around. See you next SONA.

‘ARROYONOMIC’

CBCP, Erap: SONA not real or ‘Arroyonomics’

By Dona Pazzibugan, Fe Zamora
Philippine Daily Inquirer
First Posted 02:37:00 07/29/2009

“Arroyonomics” came under fire Tuesday from former President Joseph Estrada and the Catholic Church hierarchy purportedly for being out of touch with reality and ignoring the plight of millions of poor Filipinos.

Estrada said that President Gloria Macapagal-Arroyo’s claims of economic gains in her Monday’s State of the Nation Address (SONA) were “fiction,” charging that she “either lied or was gravely mistaken.”

“Arroyonomics is a kind of economics that is out of touch with reality and real facts,” Estrada said in a statement.

“The state of the nation should also be looked at from the experiences and eyes of the remaining millions who are still suffering from hunger, illiteracy, unemployment, homelessness and sickness,” said Archbishop Angel Lagdameo, president of the Catholic Bishops’ Conference of the Philippines (CBCP).

“This would balance the picture,” Lagdameo said. “They were outside the SONA site.”

The Jaro archbishop said that Ms Arroyo spoke of macro-level “statistics which most do not understand.”

“But the macro is not always reflective of the micro. Therefore, the state of the nation must also consider the millions who make up the micro-level and are missed in the statistics,” Lagdameo said.

He said the nationwide protests and the tight security imposed on the event only “sent a message of fear and insecurity.”

Lagdameo expressed doubt that Ms Arroyo would step down at the end of her term in June 2010.

Ms Arroyo in her speech did not address speculation that she would run for Congress and aspire to become prime minister should her allies succeed in amending the Constitution and adopting the parliamentary system.

“This hopefully is the last SONA of the present administration,” Lagdameo said, adding that the country is “looking forward to the 2010 election of people with new minds, new hearts, new spirit for a better Philippines.”

On the eve of the SONA, Manila Archbishop Gaudencio Cardinal Rosales had exhorted the President simply to “tell the truth.”

Source: http://newsinfo.inquirer.net/inquirerheadlines/nation/view/20090729-217727/CBCP-Erap-SONA-not-real-or-Arroyonomics

‘BITCH!’

The ‘bitchiest SONA’

At Large By Rina Jimenez-David
Philippine Daily Inquirer
First Posted 00:46:00 07/29/2009

“The bitchiest SONA ever,” is a general, if somewhat cheeky assessment of Monday’s State of the Nation Address, which is expected to be the last of President Gloria Macapagal-Arroyo’s 9-year term.

Others have characterized it as her “payback SONA,” which gave her the chance not just to refute charges against her but to get back at her critics and opponents. Expectedly, the pro-Arroyo crowd greeted each barbed remark and pointed reference with laughter and applause, even if the targets remained unnamed. But the most telling indicator of the President’s intent was her own smug smile, displaying just how satisfied she was, having just poked and jabbed at people who had publicly castigated her.

That she should have used the occasion to deliver a valedictory, a summing up of her nine years of governance and an articulation of her philosophy of government, instead of a petty vendetta, seemed lost on her and her speech writers.

So when she side-stepped the issue of her leaving office by saying that the remaining year left to her term was a “long time,” she simply lent credence to speculations that she has plans of staying in power beyond 2010.

Never mind that the lasting legacy she leaves after “the bitchiest SONA” is of a leader intent on putting down those who dare cross her, more concerned with put-downs and insults than elevating rhetoric that should have prepared the nation for a new beginning at the end of her legal term.

No matter how tempting it was to use the SONA platform to respond to charges of corruption, incompetence and overweening ambition, the President should have resisted it, which is what true leadership is all about. Setting aside juvenile urges for the greater good and the sake of one’s legacy is a sign of maturity, after all. And that’s not what we saw that rainy Monday afternoon.

* * *

IN SOME ways, we’ll miss the Arroyo regime, especially the extraordinary drama that always takes place around the time of the SONA.

Being the purported last SONA of Arroyo, the rallies that transpired during and before the day of the SONA were especially noteworthy. The rallies and protests have acquired a sense of ritual and pageantry through the years, symbolized best of all in the numerous, giant effigies of the President paraded down Commonwealth last Monday that have grown in complexity and artistry. Protest symbols were even present in the Batasan Hall, exemplified by the gown of Gabriela party-list Rep. Liza Maza, which was made of katsa, the lowly rough cotton fabric, on which was hand-painted a narrative mural of the “sufferings” that the Arroyo regime had put the people through.

Depending on what plans are still brewing in the President’s brain and among her band of advisers, we either may never see the likes and scale of the anti-Arroyo SONA protests again, or even bigger and grander actions, should the “bitchiest SONA” prove but a harbinger of a more vicious, vindictive and extended Arroyo regime.

* * *

IN ALL the assessments conducted of the Arroyo term, there was one measuring instrument that was sadly neglected. This “instrument” was the Millennium Development Goals or MDGs which the Philippine government—initially represented by President Joseph Estrada but also by President Arroyo—committed to fulfill by 2015.

World governments were convened by the United Nations at the start of the millennium to commit to a set of goals meant to reduce absolute poverty in their countries and the rest of the world. The idea was that poverty—measured in terms of access to food, education, health, water, electricity and other basic services—was not an absolutely unsolvable problem. But rather, with enough political will and funding and budget support, governments could address the most fundamental inequalities of their societies.

President Arroyo made much of the overall economic achievements in her nine years in office, but left out was the fact that the overall growth in the economy had failed to “trickle down” to the poor and most in need. The alleviation of poverty is the basic MDG, but even in that, statistics showed, not only was Arroyo unable to reduce the number of people living in poverty, in her nine years the proportion of poor has even increased.

A general consensus, too, is that the MDGs on maternal health, child health and women’s equality will most likely not be met by 2015. Given the Arroyo administration’s general lack of support for a rational family planning program, it’s only expected that the maternal health situation will not get any better but even worsen. More women have been and will continue to get sick and die from causes related to pregnancy and child birth in the last nine years. And this is directly related to their inability to control or determine whether, when and how often they get pregnant.

* * *

OTHER experts have examined simple goals like Arroyo’s commitment to improve education, deliver services like water and electricity and end hunger. On these, too, the experts have given her a failing grade.

The real measurement of development, after all, is at the smallest, most intimate level—in the family and individual. And despite the overall numbers chalked up in terms of GDP and balance of payments, the stark fact is that at the personal level, the Filipino is worse off than before Arroyo took her oath of office at the stage in front of the Edsa Shrine.

If only the title of this post would be translated into a Music Album, this would probably eclipse the success of the Eraserheads’ Ultraelectromagneticpop. With Added tracks from Miriam Defensor Santiago and Raul gonzales, A duet by Presidential mouthpieces Lorelei Fajardo and Anthony Golez, The Chorale Group of Congressmen singing “You’ve Got The Power” and the first family’s disco track of “We are Family”, surely “Pyschopathetic Arroyonomic Bitch!” will be off the charts at the drop of a hat…

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