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The Barriotic Empire Strikes Back

18 August 2009 46 Comments

kitty vader

I was mum. There’s a new war brewing over the horizon. And I, Anakanang Skywalker, was not up for it.

After that inter-galactic war of the not-so-distant past and some short intensity conflicts I eagerly joined for the Barriotic cause, I am not quite sure if the men are ready for yet another battle.

Personal reasons are also prominent more than just the practical. I have friends on both sides. My allegiance goes to the empire, to which I served and fought dutifully, as well as to some newly-acquired friends who calls themselves the Jedis, a small ragtag group of loners and romantics.

The biggest thing that I was worried about is that if the Barriotic Empire complained to the Senate about the questionable results and the questionable actions of the promoter and the winners, narrow-minded people from other galaxies whose brains are as under-developed as an Earth Dodo would think of us as merely whiners and sour-grapers.

Imagine, the Barriotic Empire, with its grip on Alexa and other ranking sites as an emerging one succumbs to a lowly group of pathetic soul-searching Jedis.

I was in such a predicament. My heart bled as I saw my friends on both sides took counsel in their arms while the networking alien queen who started all these remained defiant as well as dismissive while she washes her left hand honoring the Pilate and her right sells you her new book.

So I merely watched and stayed on the sides as my dear friend and leader Supreme Chancellor Reynz Palpatine led the march towards the perceived new enemy. The insult, according to the once-allied sycophant Janet, was that it was “simply a writing project”, obviously belittling our highly-developed collective faculties.

This “simple writing project” as we are all aware of, is not as simple as she claims after the Barriotic Empire starts its galactic probe. Its “simple” rules where everything is a “work in progress” allow the author all rights to break even the laws of Physics.

As if Eisntein and I were born yesterday…

The Strike

The first shot was deafening. And as it reverberates across the blog universes, you can hear the shouts of the imperial army roaring like thunder…

“Keep Social Climbing Alive!!! Chorvahin na ang mga Yannnnn!!!”

I seek the counsel of the Mighty One, Sith Lord Darth Bluepanjeet. We were both adamant on letting this slip away since at first, we both did not see any good that would come out of it since we see this war as a lousy and pathetic exercise. We refused to let our special forces join the fray.

The whole imperial army was on red alert as it barricaded itself on the confines of the palace, waiting for the volley of fire and counter-attacks to come. When it came, it came as snippets. I can only think of it as if they had no ammunition to back a counter-attack or they might be planning a major one.

I braced myself, put my own army back to barracks, and commissioned my own task force to investigate Chancellor Reynz’s allegations. I went as far as the edges of the universe collecting moon rocks and dark matters and found that they are conclusively similar to what the Chancellor’ Reynz’s and Sith Lord Bluep’s have found. The mountains of DNA evidence simply cannot overlooked.

The participants of this mutiny still remains tight-lipped. For some, it merely shows the guilt. But I don’t know. I cannot speak for anybody; therefore I cannot speak for them. Let alone those people who act as PR representatives for the now dishonorable Jedis.

We have seen the indiscriminate discharges, yes discharges, of that blonde from the Land of Oz, who clearly had no idea what she brought herself into. She even had the nerve to threaten the Chancelor legally. As if the courts of the federation would be willing to waste its time on schizos.

You Call That A Counter-Strike?

Recently, across the galaxy, I saw another effort at labeling the empire’s probe as “bitch writing”. Nothing new to be found here, just that same-o same-o these barrio guys from the dark side are just sourgrapers. He went as far as compare the whole empire to neoplatonists and even called its members charlatans.

In as far as being influential is concerned, you probably didn’t know that those charlatans you were mentioning were influential to the whole evolution of philosophy. You might wanna check your wikipedia and your Philo professors on that kid.

The entire Empire already had a name and saying that we only “bitch write” to make a name for ourselves is not only pathetic but hideous as well.  If you can’t afford a mirror, I’ll send you one.

You would be no match to the individuals of the Barriotic Empire little one, much more the sum of its parts.

And if you want to write about Britney Spears instead of your philosophical nothingness, there’s nobody stopping you boy. For all you know that might be all you need to bump up your Alexa ranking more than just “bitch writing”.

Just make sure to keep your to homophobic self yourself, we all have gay friends you know.

Chewbacca”: Bitch writing can be fun but it’s like talking with too much lipstick on without noticing that it had smudged your teeth. LOL. You wouldn’t know exactly what grabbed people’s attention: was it your talk? the lipstick? or, the smudge? Worse, were they listening or, were they merely gawking at some freak? LOL. Fri at 4:22am

Paolo Mendoza: @emeniano, this is exactly why I dont wear lipstick =P Fri at 4:46am

The Collateral Damage

I was misled. I thought this was just an inter-galactic game that had no bearing to these lowly but romantic Jedis. The truth of the matter is, as clear as a thousand suns, evidences proved to be otherwise.

In their quest for greatness, they have conspired to win this pathetic game. In connivance with the Sycophant Janet, the Jedis have blindsided Queen Snow. As Snow naively narrated what happened, she was obviously eased out of the game in favor of the Jedis.

Surely, the Jedis were only doing it to protect their votes, votes for a contest which they said they said was merely a game. It is clearly the same thing as advising your minions to create blogs and vote for your friends.

These are clearly not against any rule. Only, it is just WRONG. The same rules which by the way had the blessing s of both Darwin and Einstein themselves, it continuously evolves and disregards the cosmological constant. Rules that are governed only at the whims of the One.

The snippets of counter-attacks coming from Jedi followers were like a muted cacophony of voices that were clearly out of tune, creating sub-plots instead of facing the issues head-on.

Instead of answering the charges presented, they simply dismissed it as a non-issue that according to some, were raised as far back as two years ago. And since it was raised long before now, it lacks the merit to a few who had the decency to talk about fairness.

Instead of presenting evidences countering the charges, they present alibis and name-calling to make the issue personal, therefore maligning the writers who observed the questionable results from a questionable contest with questionable rules.

“Madaya ang eleksiyon sa Pilipinas. Alam mo naman palang madadaya ka lang, boboto ka pa?”

That phrase quite sums it up. I personally thought of it as a merely game, if there is no harm done, then I can find no foul. But harm was done to one of the friends of the Barriotic Empire, Queen Snow. And some friends had been maligned as well along the way.

The Aftermath

This is not about friendship. This is about what is right. If we can tolerate wrongs in the simplest terms, we can tolerate wrongs in the major scheme of things. The repercussion could be inter-galactic.

And quite obviously, with overzealous words being drawn as an offensive weapon in exchange of explanations for a defensive option, and the repercussions of these ethical and morally bankrupt arguments on the national level and the Philippine society as a whole, I had no choice but to rally my own.

Indeed, the lines, err, light sabers have been drawn.

Now say I must…  Keep the social churva alive!!!

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Uy! Ka barrio, kung first timer ka dito sa Barrio Siete o kaya naman ay napasaya ka ng aming mga writers, inaanyayahan ka naming mag subscribe sa RSS Feed namin! Pwede mong gamitin ang Google Reader para dito.
is your quintessential skeptic but a not-yet-so-hopeless pessimist. Impatient most of the time, hence the name, he yearns to discover the magnanimity of the universe and the infinite folly of human stupidity (yep, that was Einstein's). And yes, oo.. he also want world peace. You can stalk him out at Anak ni Kulapo and I Am Buraot.

46 Comments »

  • Chi says:

    base!huwaw! grabe! lightning! ehe, enlightning pla. hahaha.
    ay wil sekon da mosyon, kip do sosyal churva alayb!

  • Maldito says:

    yes i was born a beyotch, and will die…still a beyotch you all!ha ha ha
    OK, fasten your seat belt, we will call it a rap!
    Keep the social chuva alive!! Kill all mandaraya! o yeah yeah yeah..!

    -Britney Spears

  • Susan boyle says:

    Did ever of you guys here notice that I look like Holly Gandanghari?

    - Susan Boyle

  • pehpot says:

    “As if Eisntein and I were born yesterday”

    so magka edadan lang ba kayo ni Einstein Itay? LOL

    Make or Break

  • Mel says:

    That person is another case of Holly. He admitted he did not read the whole of one post, much more ang mga kasunod nito. Sabat ng sabat pero hindi naman alam ang buong istorya. Nagmamalaki pa sa Alexa niyang 5MILLION! Juice ko. Kalokah! Nakikisabay sa alon eh wala namang surfboard.

  • Pusa says:

    May the force be with you young anakanang skywalker :) the whole hello kitty jedi is behind you in this churva battle

  • malensky says:

    Quoting Paolo Mendoza,

    “I didn’t read the whole article because it came from someone whom I considered hideous — A person whom I stopped respecting after he taunted the loss of a certain mommy blogger’s child”

    Dude, focus on the issues. Your personal dislike against reynz has nothing to do with the EIB scam. You don’t not even know the whole story…and yet you’re bitching around the galaxy.

    walang suka at patis dito, baket nakikisawsaw ka?

  • Mahalia says:

    Nagpatattoo ka ng kitty vader Burz?

  • Silver says:

    Sith Lord Buraot,

    May the force be with you. I love this post of yours. Hahahha. Classic star blarss eerr wars churva. Hahahahha.

    Silver
    Board Member
    Magtatahong Sith Lords of Magellanic Galaxy

    P.S.

    Nahawa ako kay DFish sa pagiging board member. LOL. May assosasyon na din ako. :P

  • reynz says:

    Thank you all for sending me a copy of that writings by the bitch. let me take time to read it. I could see all the hallelujah sing praises and smiles accorded to the bitch. Hmmm!

    • BURAOT says:

      if anybody had an access to his note… pls make a screen shot of all those comments please..

      after i made a comment, Jedi Jan replied, i replied back. paolo then apologized to me for the article. then he blocked me.

      was it not hideous? was it not katraydoran?

      it’s their modus operandi, baby.

  • reynz says:

    These are clearly not against any rule. Only, it is just WRONG. The same rules which by the way had the blessing s of both Darwin and Einstein themselves, it continuously evolves and disregards the cosmological constant. Rules that are governed only at the whims of the One.

    Nice!

  • reynz says:

    Exactly the point that blue and I have been talking about:

    Instead of answering the charges presented, they simply dismissed it as a non-issue that according to some, were raised as far back as two years ago. And since it was raised long before now, it lacks the merit to a few who had the decency to talk about fairness.

    Instead of presenting evidences countering the charges, they present alibis and name-calling to make the issue personal, therefore maligning the writers who observed the questionable results from a questionable contest with questionable rules.

    That one written by Paolo Mendoza was a hate entry inciting murder. I will blog about it. I’m sure he wants attention with his meager Alexa rankings.

    • BURAOT says:

      and when you will, i will let you know how he’s not only rude but conniving and hideous as well.

      • reynz says:

        I do Buraot. That was a hateful entry. Inciting a horrible act. Worse, with not only homophobic comments but one that says “Smila lang ako ha?”

        Then, in my email, I received one trying to maintain past relationship and wanted to chat with me.

        What was that?

        On one hand trying to consent the horrible behaviour.

        And on the other, trying to be friendly and nicey to me?

        Readers won’t get it.

        But I truly do.

        • BURAOT says:

          hideous di ba? even that paolo kid, he apologized to me, then i acted like a gentleman and accepted his apology in face value. tapos bigla akong ni-blocked. o di ba? not only rude but hideous.

  • an2nette says:

    I like your entry, bullseye sa mga dapat tamaan, you’re a good writer. ate an2nette

  • BURAOT says:

    matagal nang nagba blog to. nag-uumpisa pa lang ako dun sa kulapo, nakikita ko na to. at ayon sa inter-galactic standards, na-stuck dun sa sarili nyang orbit. di na gumalaw yung rank.

  • Irej says:

    The Mighty Buraot strikes Again…

    Saludo talaga ako sayo coz you stands for the truth..

    Parang naninibago lang ako pag nakakabasa ako ng entry mo tulad nito, lalo na pag seroyos. unlike sa “Kulapo” na puro kalookohan.. ha ha ha

    But i want you to know that i really admire and appreciate the way you express your thought… At isa ka sa naging inspirasyon ko sa pag ba-blog.. totoo yan walang biro.

    wait lang, baka sabihin mong nababakla na ako sayo, hindi uy! nya ha ha ha.

  • Mel says:

    Akala ko ba matapang yan. Bakit nagtatago sa likod ng facebook. Suntukan na lang tayo pare. Bibigyan pa kita ng partida. Magsusuot ako ng 5-inch heels. Charot! LOL

  • chuva says:

    Huwaw!!!!!! Buraot – pinahanga mo ko sa writing skills moooooooooooooo!

    I love it! Kaso nga lang di na sana ko sasagot kasi di ko alam gamitin sa sentence ang cacophony! Hahaha!

    Galing mo! We’re not worthy. At ang message – “Pasok sa Banga!”

    Chuva
    Costume Designer
    Apprentice of Aling Sitha, Mananahi sa Orbit Street

    P.S.

    “Akala ko ba matapang yan. Bakit nagtatago sa likod ng facebook. Suntukan na lang tayo pare. Bibigyan pa kita ng partida. Magsusuot ako ng 5-inch heels. Charot! LOL”

    Bwahahahahaha! Bonggang bongga Mel!

  • malensky says:

    whoah! he blocked you kuya? HAHAHA

    baka natakot hahaha

    • BURAOT says:

      yung umepal na nagsulat ng BItch Writings. antapang, nung magcomment ako, nag-apologize sa akin thru message, tapos ibinlock ako. di ba? babanat takot naman pala.patago mag-sosorry na di daw nya alam ang punto dulo. sbay babanatan nila ako dun ng di ko alam.

      hoy mga peeps, kayo welkam kyo dito kahit di kayo agree sa sinasabi namin dito. di namin kayo iba-block. yung mga nagba block at ayaw magpa comment, may itinatago at di kayang panindigan yung sinusulat nila.

  • Dinah says:

    Wow, as a Star Wars fan myself, I totally get this :-) and i totally agree. Too bad for Snow indeed, but for me (I voted for her) she is truly influential!

  • [...] ika nga ni Janette , may requirement para sa lahat ng [...]

  • [...] While majority in the Barrio Council agreed that we should just ignore the sannamabitch entry, the entry was so hateful that I, as La Kapitana and the target of the hate entry, made an executive decision to respond. Buraot would make his response as well. [...]

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