Mga bruhang fans ni Eklat, may sulat na naman po siya para sa atin kaya hindi ko na kayo bibitinin. Sabay-sabay nating basahin. Gooooo!

Hello my dear minions!

I know that you’re glad to see my name pop up in Barrio Siete again.

Well forgive moi to keep you waiting because I’ve been so much busy doing charity work these days. I told you what I did during the Ondoy tragedy last month and after that grueling experience, I had to detoxify myself for two weeks in sunny Bahamas.

When I got back, my mother brought me to her out of town reach programs where it was worse than I could’ve imagined. I slept in a two-bedroom house with only one air conditioner and I have to share my room with my yaya Indira. It was reaalllly bad I tell you.

The bathroom was using generic toilet paper. It was probably mass-produced!!! Oh my gosh, I wish I had died. Anyway, the experience was beyond horrendous I had to bathe in isopropyl alcohol with lavender scents for two whole days. Yaya Indira on the other hand thought it was a nice vacation. Damn her. She’s so ordinary. I wish I could be like her sometimes.

Anyway, let’s not talk about myself and my nightmares. I’ll do that sometime this month.

As you all know by now, the elections next year is getting exciting already. I just had registered myself to vote. Yay! Thanks to my yaya Indira because she was the one who stood in line for me for only 21 hours! That was indeed very fast compared to the others who were queueing for more than 24 hours. I think yaya promised a lap dance to that cutie security guard who’s a dead ringer for Coco Martin. Come to think of it, I think it was Coco Martin in his day job.

Anyway, as a first time voter here in the Philippines, I want to talk about them presidentiables and some of the people around them because it’s the people around them that’s making them more interesting and, well, nakakaloka.

Let’s start with the Aquino-Roxas tandem. With the proclamation of Mr. Noynoy Aquino to run for president and Mar Roxas downgrading himself to run for Noy’s number 2, many thought this would be the tandem to beat. Well, the surveys show a very confident vote for both Noy and Mar. Do I sense a nginig from their opponents? Well, they should because this two does not only have a bright political career and a record to beat but also they come from old rich families like myself. But you know what’s made this more interesting is the women around them.

Who am I talking to? Of course the popular broadcaster Korina Sanchez who I heard bought too many shoes to fill Malacanang’s first lady’s closet.

Imelda is that you? If Imelda is into Ferragamo, Korina daw is into Louboutins. OMG, I want to be her friend na so we can make chika about shoes all day! I also heard this gossip from my mother’s couturier that she had planned in advance daw on what she would wear to her then fiance and now husband’s inauguration as president . In fact, the pattern of the dress was already cut and the French lace to be used in the dress was already flown from Paris.

Unfortunately, it did not materialse and the tela was used na lang as placemats because you know, Mar decided not to run for president to give way to Noy’s candidacy so that means hindi naman pala siya magiging first lady! Hahaha!

Shalani Soledad on the other hand is a very pretty lady from Valenzuela who I think is a very classy girl like me.

Classy in the sense that she prefers to be at the back when Noy announced his bid for presidency. During Tita Cory’s wake and burial, she was not near the immediate family as well. Of course as a public official, she is also seen in events where there are media coverages and when she is asked about Noy, she always politely decline to answer the reporters.

In short, she tried so hard not to be noticed by the press but you know, mainstream media will always notice her presence. My advice to her is this. Your boyfriend might be the next president and people close to him will also be making pansin by the media. Most especially you because your relationship with the man of the moment is an intimate one. If you don’t want media attention I suggest you just make mukmok na lang in your office or in your home. Hahaha!
And last but not the least, my all-time favourite Miss Kris Aquino who is the most controversial of the three.

Remember what she said on her mother’s burial that she doesn’t want her brother to get married? Well, everybody should be sanay na already with Kris. Maybe Kris doesn’t like Shalani and that’s her way of getting back at her. She says what’s in her heart even if it’s vomit. Hahaha! But she made bawi that statement already by putting on record that she’ll even pay for the clothes of some of the entourage.

Anyway, I just wish she’ll run for senator in the near future because the senate could use a fashionable diva with credentials someday you know. For many years I have not seen a diva in the senate ever since I was born with a silver spoon in this third world. Miriam Defensor? Oh she’s a diva but she’s not fashionable. She wears ukay stuff. Don’t get me wrong ha. I wear second hand clothes but I buy them at vintage store in New York and not in the bangketa. Hahaha!

Pia Cayetano? Oh no, she’s too nice to be a diva. I like her, she’s a great mother and she has good looking brothers too. Have I told you I once dated his brother Lino before he dated that biatch Bianca Gonzales?

And what about Jamby? Well technically, she’s not in the same league as the other senators. My lola said her late Tita Chito just told her to buy suka in the kanto, on her way home she slipped and hit her head in the gutter. She lost consciousness and when she woke up she decided to run for the senate. Yes. That’s the story behind Jamby’s insanity. Good thing she got actress Judy Ann Santos’ fans’ votes that’s why she won.

And Loren? Well, she’s stylish but people doesn’t like her that much. She’s quite balimbing too and that is so not a diva attitude.

Oh well, my time is up now. I have a spa appointment in a few hours and I have to get ready. Til my next review my super duper gorgeous readers. I love you all.

XOXO,
Eklat

Photo Credits:

1. Shalani’s photo from her Facebook
2. Korina and mar’s photo from weddingsatwork
3. Kris’ and James photo from Bench via Filipina Soul
4. Leighton Meester’s photo from CW via luajewelry

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Mel is is the ‘gurl’ behind “The Misadventures of Mel Beckham”. ‘She’ graduated from Brokenshire College with a double major in Management and Entrepreneurship. ‘She’ grew up in the city but now lives in the bukid near barrio siete juggling work as a farm manager, office secretary, messenger, construction worker, housemaid, make-up artist and babysitter. Despite ‘her’ busy schedule, ‘she’ finds the time to blog in between work, and errands using ‘her’ primitive mobile phone. ‘She’ plans to take ‘her’ MBA soon but ‘her’ multiple jobs prevent ‘her’ from doing so unless going to school will get ‘her’ paid to pay for ‘her’ utangs. Before ‘she’ dies, ‘she’ hopes of owning a pair of Louboutins, and landing on the cover of Vogue, kahit sa Vogue India lang. Whichever comes first.