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Why you should not ask your seatmate to change seats with you on a plane

12 December 2009 14 Comments

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Photo Credits: Here

Kadarating ko lang galing Pasig, after a little over 2 weeks na pagkawala. I can’t help but teach some social climbing lessons here folks na matagal ko nang natikman sa plane. Coal pa ang nag-papatakbo dati sa eroplano. Here’s the social climbing rule when riding on a plane.

Do not ever, ever, ever, ever, ever request a fellow passenger to change seat unless you are dying in your assigned seat.

Have you been in this situation? Where a passenger asks you to exchange seat for some out of this world reason why they must be on the seat assigned to you?

Been there. Many times.

I remember on a flight back to Manila from Minneapolis. I boarded a Northwest Airlines flight to Japan. I would find a middle-aged Filipina seated on my assigned seat. She begged that we exchange seat because she’s suffering from chronic urinating withdrawal pee symptoms that if she missed by 1 sec, she’ll die. And so, I obliged. That seat happens to be an aisle seat. This was a 12-hour flight from Minneapolis to Tokyo. All throughout that flight, I noticed her get up only once. The facker put one over me!

In Tokyo, we would change plane. So everyone will have to de-plane and board another aircraft bound to Manila.

Lo and behold! There she was again! Was luck playing with me? Or was I being tested to say the right thing this time?

Mama, palit na lang po tayo ulit!” the woman begged. This time around, my flunking good manners and irresponsible conduct overcame my body. Hahaha! Charing! Kayo naman, joke lang yan.

Ale, wag kang mag-iinarte. Ako yong katabi mo nang dose oras papuntang Tokyo at wala kang saket. Sa susunod, pag bumili ka nang tiket, piliin mo ang upuan mo nang maige at siguraduhin mong 1st class. Ngayon, umusog ka dyan kung hindi, malelechehan ka pag sinabi ko seyo ang saket ko!

Yan ang aking litanya mala-angkel arkanghel sabay nang aking mga nan-lilisik na mata. Hahaha! Charing lang. Pero di na ako nakipag-palit nang upuan.

For all three hours na byahe to Manila, hindi tumayo ang ale para umihi.

It happened again. Kanina lang, on my flight from Manila to Tokyo. Yes, I was seated sa aisle seat. This time around, Filipina again, bata pa sya, basta alam ko, mas matanda ako hahaha! Me anak sya, lalaki siguro mga 3 or 4 years old. Funny, dahil inglis ang bata with some terrible, terrible accent! Dyusko! Di makaya nang eardrums ko. I commend the parents for teaching the kid early on to speak English, pero por dyos por santu! Ang accent, makakabiyak nang nyog! Ugh!

Anyway, panay tingin saken. I figured, she wanted something. Sa totoo lang. Mga Filipino/Filipina lang ata ang gumagawa nang ganito. Alam ko na sasabihin. Ilang beses ko na kasing narinig to.

Hindi nakatiis ang ale, kinausap ako.

Mama, pwede pong mag-palet nang upuan kasi ang Mister ko nakaupo sa Seat 25 para po me katulong ako mag-alaga nang bata.

“Katulong mag-alaga nang bata”. Hmmmnnn…

Umalpas ang pagka-maldita ko.

Tinitigan ko ang bata. Mukhang normal naman. Kumpleto mata, nakita ko kanina tumatakbo, pa-inglis inglis pa, me mga kamay at mukhang matino naman, except medyo maingay lang. Bata eh.

Alam nyo naman ako, due diligence muna. So, tinitigan ko nanay. Sosyalera ata to. Di nya kilala, si Reyna katabi nya.

Ah, misis, saan po ba naka-upo si Mister?

Seat 25 po.

Aisle seat ba sya?

Nasa gitna po”.

“Ganito na lang misis. Kausapin mo ang katabi nang mister mo na mag-change seat, para lipat ako dun sa aisle seat, at lipat naman dito ang mister mo, magalang at mala-Reyna kong sinabi.”

Nag-isip ang gurl, meya’t meya…

Wag na long po Sir”.

Ah, ok” sagot ko na naka-ngising demonyo sa utak ko. Hehehe!

Of course! Hindi makipag-pa-palet nang chair ang puti dun sa katabi nang asawa nya sa Seat #25. Hindi yan ugali nang puti, unless na lupasay ka na’t nag-hihingalo at malapit ka nang matigok sa assigned seat mo. Eh kung kasinlakas mo ang mga buwaya, mahiya ka naman sa sarili mo! Arte nitong katabi ko at ang mga ibang Filipino/Filipina dyan who have no clue how to social climb.

Makinig.

Ang upuan sa airlines, especially pag long-haul flight is a perfect networking opportunity seyo at wag mong sisirain sa walang kwentang request na mag-palit nang upuan dahil hindi yan ina-appreciate sa western world. Mga lecheng kaartehan lang to nang mga Filipino. At dahil sanay na ako sa ugaling ganito, hindi ko na rin makita ang reason kung bakit kami mag-papalit nang seat. Para saken, bumili ka nang Business Class at wag kang sumama samen sa Economy dahil ganito kami dito.

Kung gusto mong aisle seat, or window seat, pwes, once you buy a ticket, dun pa lang, ayusin mo na. Or, kung internet check-in ka, mamili ka na, dun pa lang. Or kung late ka na, pwes kausapin mo ang tao sa check-in counter. Dun ka mag-inarte at mag-lupasay. Wag sa harap ko.

Kaya, do not ever, ever, ever, ever ask your seatmate na mag-palit kayo nang upuan dahil ora mismo, tinigbak mo ang chance na maging friendship kayo.

Wag kang ganid you selfish, second-rate, trying hard moron! Hmpt!

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